Does Anyone Actually Know What They’re Doing?
China Town, Bangkok.
Does anyone actually know what they’re doing?
I don’t…
When I really stop and look around, it doesn’t seem like anyone else does either.
What I see is people living.
All at different stages. Under different stressors. Carrying different wins and losses. Everyone shaped by factors you’d never guess at a glance.
When I was backpacking through Thailand, I learned a word that stuck with me…
sonder.
The realisation that every person you pass is living a life as complex and vivid as your own.
Once you notice it, you can’t unsee it.
Everyone has their own story unfolding. We just happen to cross paths at the same place, at the same time. The odds of that are so small. It likely won’t happen again.
Some look confident.
Some look exhausted.
Some look like they’re holding everything together better than expected.
I mostly just observe it. Sometimes I imagine what life looks like from their side. When the moment feels right, I try to capture it, and occasionally, I’m lucky enough to meet the people in it.
Everyone carries a story you don’t know.
Still, we’re quick to decide who people are based on what we see in passing.
I’ve found that judgement softens when you allow for perspective, when you consider intention, context, and the possibility that there’s more happening than you can see.
Maybe that’s all sonder really is.
Paying attention long enough to realise none of us are doing this alone.
